stunned by sovereignty

the past couple months have just been a whirlwind. so much has and is happening, but i guess that's just life. there haven't been too many times where life really slows down for me, but in all the craziness lately the issue of God's sovereignty keeps coming up. i feel like i've had to explore it and explain it to more people in the last couple weeks than i have in my whole ministry experience (which is just 4 months shy of 4 years). obviously questions revolving around the issue of sovereignty arise out of circumstances that are tough to understand and explain. why are these things happening? why does God allow this? what's His purpose in this?

but i have to admit that, even though we have faced some challenging circumstances that still leave me a bit puzzled, i'm more assured of God's sovereignty than ever before.

i've been reminded of the 2 different forms of "God's will": His planative will & His decretive will. His planative will is His overall plan. God has A plan...not a plan B or plan C. He is in control. nothing surprises Him or catches Him off guard. He is omnipotent and omniscient, and He is infinite. unfortunately i am finite and limited in my understanding...which means i am incapable of knowing & understanding His planative will. but i don't need to.

i need to know His decretive will. and the best part is, i CAN know His decretive will! His decretive will is His decrees or His commands. those He has clearly spelled out for me in His authoritative and sufficient Word.

so, i don't have to know "WHY?". because i know "WHO!"

i know God. i know Him through His Word...His revelation. which is an act of love. i have a relationship with Him. and it's through Christ...proof of His love.

understanding the balance between God's sovereignty and man's free will is an age-old theological & philosophical battle ground littered with the thoughts and lives of godly men who have gone before me. though the two positions seem polarizing and incongruent, i believe they do not cancel each other out. because i believe that in God's sovereign will He has decreed man's free will. and somehow in His infinite purpose those 2 truths are not in conflict.

loved A.W. Tozer's work on this subject in chapter 22 of The Knowledge of the Holy. his illustration of the ocean liner with a predetermined course filled with passengers free to roam about the ship as they pleased was helpful in my mind. although even that illustration is hinged upon the unforeseen (for us) knowledge of God's planative will...whether that ocean liner really will reach its predetermined destination or not. so it's not a sufficient picture. but we're trying to wrap our minds around an infinite God which is in itself contradictory to say.

so as i've been writing curriculum, responding to theological questions, researching and reading i've been encouraged that this quest to understand God's will and sovereignty is not in vain because it leads me back to a quiet starting point: trust. that is the issue. will i question WHO He is? questioning God is the oldest trick in the book (genesis 3), which leads to not trusting and rebellion. so do i question Him? or will i trust Him and seek to live my life in obedience to His decretive will for His ultimate glory?

oh to have faith like a child.