God's not Grandma

i figured i should blog about this since it's become a interesting thought that i've shared with more than a few friends recently. and it at least warrants some explanation upon first glance.

the thought occurred to me as we've been engaging in these spiritual disciplines at church. some of them are tough and challenging and require a little planning and thought. but the overall emphasis is on the relationship that we are pursuing. we are pursuing: God.

and so, randomly, i thought about my relationship with grandma. and then i asked friends about their relationships with grandma. and after a general consensus, i've concluded that most people love their grandma. i for one, LOVE my grandma. she is a wonderful woman of God and has been an example to her family of dedication and service. she's awesome. and she's my grandma. so i love her no matter what.

and i thought...ya know i love my grandma, but if i was honest, i'd have to admit that i really don't pursue my relationship with grandma very earnestly. i think about all the excuses for why i don't call to talk to her everyday: i'm really busy, she might be busy, if i call she may want to talk for a long time, if i call she may have something for me to do, i don't really have anything going on right now that she really needs to know about or that requires her help, and even if i don't call she'll still love me because she's my grandma...and nothing could change that.

then it occurred to me. what if i used those excuse for why i don't always "call" to talk to God? i'm busy. He's busy. He'll want to talk for a long time. He'll have something for me to do. i don't have much going on that He really has much to do with. and even if i don't spend time with Him, He'll always love me...because He's God...and that's what He does.

and the realization hits me: that relationship's going nowhere.

i want to passionately pursue my God. and i want to know Him. i want to be like Him. i want to continually spend time in His presence, constantly aware of my absolute dependence upon Him. i want to worship Him. i want to walk with Him...and talk with Him.

so i discipline myself.

not for man's praise or my daily-spiritual-checklist-of-to-do's...but for the sake of my relationship with the Almighty Creator.

and ya know what? He wants to spend time with me.

that's incredible.

so i better go call my grandma and tell her i love her. and go spend time with my Father in heaven.

a fortress in fearing

read a cool proverb this morning: he who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge (prov. 14:26).

just thinking about my little girl lately. carissa and i watched "father of the bride" on monday, and it's amazing to think how little time we will have with jolie alanna. she hasn't even arrived yet and we're already worrying about when we'll put her in kindergarten, what books i want to read to her at bed-time, what interests will drive us crazy through her high school years, when i'll have to buy my first shot-gun to ward off the boys, who she'll end up marrying...i mean...wow! there's a lot to worry about! and if my life's flown by so fast...it's just scary to think about...

but then i read a proverb like this that gives me divine insight into the source of my security.

it's in the fear of the Lord.

my fortress is Him.

and by choosing to live in a conscious state of healthy fear in recognition of His holiness and character, He will also protect and secure my wonderful wife and little girl.

i can trust in the Lord.

i can't imagine not having that fortress to run back to. not having a real source of security.

our God is good. all the time.

after

my time of solitude did not disappoint. solely because my God cannot disappoint.

it was amazing, to say the least! energizing. refreshing. refocusing. fulfilling. just...wonderful. because my God is wonderful!

as i sat in the quiet of the woods, listening to the gurgle of the gentle waterfall and the rustle of leaves in the trees as the wind and the occasional squirrel disturbed them, i communed with God. it was a holy place. because God was there with me. He reminded me of what He has done in my life over the last 15 years or so. He encouraged and strengthened me with His Words. He filled my heart with love...reminding me that my relationship with Him is my most valuable treasure and my dependence upon Him is of utmost importance. and He filled my lungs with song. and the song that had to burst of out of my mouth embodied all that He was impressing on me:

just give me Jesus!

before

so this week our church is exploring the discipline of SOLITUDE.

love it! can't wait! this is the discipline i've been looking forward to the most. the challenge is to go spend 2 hours and 48 minutes all alone with God (that number generated by 1 minute for every hour of the week). already it's a challenge to look into the week's schedule and find a time to squeeze it in.

we've got some people fired up at us for this one. how could we ask so much out of people?! don't we know that our schedules are packed?! and we should be more considerate of the "stages of life" that people find themselves chained to! some people just can't do that!!

i personally can't wait to hear what people say AFTER they spend that amount of time alone with God!

ya know, our culture isn't very tolerant of silence. we're surrounded by noise all the time...often voluntarily. silence has become awkward. and you have to be doing something!

don't believe me?

next time you're in a crowded place with a bunch of strangers, just notice how many people whip out their cell phones. and i bet you half of them aren't really using them...they're just staring at the screens, averting their eyes from others, pushing random buttons to keep from feeling the awkwardness of standing their doing nothing. and you laugh...because you know you've done it! then there's the people who pretend to be talking on the cell phone...just so it looks like they're busy! (even more awkward when that phone starts ringing while they're "talking")

and there's this unspoken competition to see who can handle the busiest schedule and make it look like they've got life by the horns.

solitude is tough! so carving out a chunk of time that long to just spend alone with God??? no way!!!

i know i'm guilty of avoiding it.

i went to school in chicago...which presents it's own unique opposition to silence. but there were times when i would go into a closet in our dorm, shut the door and turn off the lights...then i would just sit there. and stay there. ... it usually took me about 30-45 minutes for my brain to finally grow weary of wandering...and then i would talk to God. that was some of the most focused time i ever spent with Him.

and you know what? i never once walked out of that closet and thought, wow, i can't believe i wasted that much time just sitting there talking to God. no, almost every time i can remember i walked out thinking, why don't i come back here more often?

so i'm going tonight.

carissa and i are heading to a state park about 20 miles away. and i'm going off into the woods to just spend 3 hours all alone with God.

i need it. i can feel it. and i have no idea what to expect...