before

so this week our church is exploring the discipline of SOLITUDE.

love it! can't wait! this is the discipline i've been looking forward to the most. the challenge is to go spend 2 hours and 48 minutes all alone with God (that number generated by 1 minute for every hour of the week). already it's a challenge to look into the week's schedule and find a time to squeeze it in.

we've got some people fired up at us for this one. how could we ask so much out of people?! don't we know that our schedules are packed?! and we should be more considerate of the "stages of life" that people find themselves chained to! some people just can't do that!!

i personally can't wait to hear what people say AFTER they spend that amount of time alone with God!

ya know, our culture isn't very tolerant of silence. we're surrounded by noise all the time...often voluntarily. silence has become awkward. and you have to be doing something!

don't believe me?

next time you're in a crowded place with a bunch of strangers, just notice how many people whip out their cell phones. and i bet you half of them aren't really using them...they're just staring at the screens, averting their eyes from others, pushing random buttons to keep from feeling the awkwardness of standing their doing nothing. and you laugh...because you know you've done it! then there's the people who pretend to be talking on the cell phone...just so it looks like they're busy! (even more awkward when that phone starts ringing while they're "talking")

and there's this unspoken competition to see who can handle the busiest schedule and make it look like they've got life by the horns.

solitude is tough! so carving out a chunk of time that long to just spend alone with God??? no way!!!

i know i'm guilty of avoiding it.

i went to school in chicago...which presents it's own unique opposition to silence. but there were times when i would go into a closet in our dorm, shut the door and turn off the lights...then i would just sit there. and stay there. ... it usually took me about 30-45 minutes for my brain to finally grow weary of wandering...and then i would talk to God. that was some of the most focused time i ever spent with Him.

and you know what? i never once walked out of that closet and thought, wow, i can't believe i wasted that much time just sitting there talking to God. no, almost every time i can remember i walked out thinking, why don't i come back here more often?

so i'm going tonight.

carissa and i are heading to a state park about 20 miles away. and i'm going off into the woods to just spend 3 hours all alone with God.

i need it. i can feel it. and i have no idea what to expect...