it happened to me

this is the time of year when anyone who writes anything reminds us of the real reason for Christmas, whether it's nostalgia, family, the Christmas spirit, etc.

for believers they always send you a reminder to pause during all the bustle of the holiday season to ponder the entrance of our Lord into our world.

i'm ashamed to admit that i've read so many of these articles and letters that it seemed almost cliche to me.

until it happened to me.

i missed it last year.

and it's possible i would have missed it this year. if it hadn't been for a cheesy looking window-sticker nativity scene...

i love Christmas! i love the lights and music and carols. the eggnog. the classic movies. the glow around the town. the presents. the fake santa at the mall. the plans to spend time with family. the Christmas eve service. the parties. everything!

i can't wait to decorate the house with all the Christmas scenery and sit and stare at the lighted tree with my wife. but this year...we were at wal-mart when Carissa decided we needed to buy this cheesy window-sticker nativity scene.

i didn't argue with her. i couldn't. i don't think she really liked it either, but it was something in the way she said it. we need to put this up. just the way she said that i needed to put the cheesy ornament with the nativity scene near the top of our tree where everyone could see.

my beautiful wife gets it.

she loves all the Christmas bustle too. but that manger scene means so much to her. and even though we have a nice willow tree set...she just can't resist putting more of those scenes all over the house. like we need to be reminded of it or something...

it happened to me.

i took the time to stop. and think. and i'm so thankful i did. i'm so thankful for that little baby who was born in a barn. who came down to save me from my sin. that "tiny heart whose blood will save us, unto us is born!"

i might have missed it if it hadn't been for that cheesy window-sticker nativity scene.

musings on a standard

i won't even bore you with all the time-sapping details that have crammed my daily schedule...so suffice it to say, my reading on "heaven" has been postponed. not indefinitely...it at least sits near the top of a growing pile of must-read material. but the immediacy of 2 other books somehow topped the priority rankings. it'll come...

but let me share with you a simple concept that's been impacting me. (you may have noticed that most impacting concepts that i've shared are really just simple truths pretty basic and elementary to following Jesus...i guess it just takes me a little while)

be holy.

be holy because I am holy.

i've thought about that statement God makes in 1 peter 1:16 in light of the standards that i usually place on myself. to be perfectly honest, i don't like that standard. the bar seems too high (obviously). it doesn't seem fair.

why not let the standard be set according to the playing field. i mean, this is kinda how it works in a lot of areas of life. the sports analogy comes to my mind first, seeing as this is the best season of the year (football...or fall as it is commonly known). when i wake up monday morning i look forward to checking in with my good buddies at ESPN for a fresh batch of college football rankings. well, usually i look forward to it. lately i've had to actually scroll down the page to find ohio state, which is a new experience for me. but what strikes me is that the standard for what makes the top 25 teams in the nation "the top 25" is the playing field. they measure everyone by the standard of everyone else. i noticed they don't measure college football teams by the same standard they use to rank NFL teams.

there's a concept for ya...

what if college, high school or even peewee football teams were suddenly judged and measured by the same standard and criteria that they judge the indianapolis colts or the cleveland browns? puts a difference perspective on a 12 year-old's undefeated season. that's not fair, is it?

that's about what i feel for God's standard of holiness.

couldn't You just analyze my performance based my playing field? isn't it enough to look around and see that i'm at least above average compared to the rest of the world around me. i mean, have You seen my friends? have You seen most people my age? wouldn't You say, God, that i've gone the extra mile? not only do i go to church, but i'm in Your Word daily, praying to You, using my gifts to serve YOU, loving other people, leading my family...

it's a pretty sorry mentality, i know. but don't we so often set our own measuring stick based on everyone else around us?

God commands us to be holy. to be different. His measuring stick is unattainable. and He knows that. He knows that we need Him...and we always will.

this realization should make us all the more thankful for the righteousness of Jesus. and for the truth that "His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness" (2 peter 1:3). so the bar is set high. higher than i can reach on my own. i've got a ways to go, but i'm strengthened by a perfect Savior.

the beginnings of 'heaven'

another summer comes to its final days. nobody ever reacts with excitement with the death of the summer months. perhaps they're stay is too short here in the mid-west. the fall always seems to bring out mixed emotions.

but for me...fall is beautiful. perhaps my favorite of all the seasons. each has its own unique draw, but the colors, the crisp breeze, the smell of football in the air and memories of carving pumpkins and diving into piles of leaves makes the change of this season amazing!

maybe it's the mentality that comes with it. there's a sense of warmth i feel. i'm forced to reach deep into my drawers and pull out the old sweatshirts and bundle up again. i look forward to a cup of hot chocolate or warm tea at night. and i'm beginning to feel the hibernation of a long winter's nap approaching.

and have you ever noticed a renewed interest in curling up with a good book come fall?

when we plan curriculum around the church, we always know that book studies are better received at the beginning of a school year. there's a little excitement over the chance to study.

i love that.

this fall, i'm embarking on an adventure. randy alcorn's book, 'heaven' has been recommended to me a billion times, so i've decided to tackle it during my free time between work, diapers, watching my buckeyes and talking with my lovely bride.

it's already begun to awaken in me a suppressed interest in the eternal...and i've only read the first chapter!

i'll let you know what the season's adventure entails...

Jolie Alanna

What a beauty
What a wonder

Protect her
Guard her heart

Love her
Be her perfect Father

My hands are clumsy
Lead me steadily

Teach her truth
Give her wisdom

Use her talents
Enrich her life

Thank you for her
Thank you for life

You are good
That's undeniable

sitting, waiting, wishing

this month has been absolutely crazy! and now we're 2 days past our baby's due date. so here we sit. waiting and wishing for her to come soon...

i can't wait to hold her in my arms. i can't wait to look into her eyes. i can't wait to sing her name.

Lord, watch over my girls.

24

this past sunday i turned 24. 24 years old. and ya know what i can't help but think about?

years from now as i think back to when i was 24, how ashamed will i be of how foolish and naive i was at that age? do i think too highly of myself? am i too enthralled with my own opinions and decisions? it just makes me think...i've got a long way to go.

i know it's a slightly pessimistic outlook. but if you remember that the longer you walk with the Lord the more wise you become...then it's only up from here!

so, Lord, help me to walk with you one day at a time.

God's not Grandma

i figured i should blog about this since it's become a interesting thought that i've shared with more than a few friends recently. and it at least warrants some explanation upon first glance.

the thought occurred to me as we've been engaging in these spiritual disciplines at church. some of them are tough and challenging and require a little planning and thought. but the overall emphasis is on the relationship that we are pursuing. we are pursuing: God.

and so, randomly, i thought about my relationship with grandma. and then i asked friends about their relationships with grandma. and after a general consensus, i've concluded that most people love their grandma. i for one, LOVE my grandma. she is a wonderful woman of God and has been an example to her family of dedication and service. she's awesome. and she's my grandma. so i love her no matter what.

and i thought...ya know i love my grandma, but if i was honest, i'd have to admit that i really don't pursue my relationship with grandma very earnestly. i think about all the excuses for why i don't call to talk to her everyday: i'm really busy, she might be busy, if i call she may want to talk for a long time, if i call she may have something for me to do, i don't really have anything going on right now that she really needs to know about or that requires her help, and even if i don't call she'll still love me because she's my grandma...and nothing could change that.

then it occurred to me. what if i used those excuse for why i don't always "call" to talk to God? i'm busy. He's busy. He'll want to talk for a long time. He'll have something for me to do. i don't have much going on that He really has much to do with. and even if i don't spend time with Him, He'll always love me...because He's God...and that's what He does.

and the realization hits me: that relationship's going nowhere.

i want to passionately pursue my God. and i want to know Him. i want to be like Him. i want to continually spend time in His presence, constantly aware of my absolute dependence upon Him. i want to worship Him. i want to walk with Him...and talk with Him.

so i discipline myself.

not for man's praise or my daily-spiritual-checklist-of-to-do's...but for the sake of my relationship with the Almighty Creator.

and ya know what? He wants to spend time with me.

that's incredible.

so i better go call my grandma and tell her i love her. and go spend time with my Father in heaven.

a fortress in fearing

read a cool proverb this morning: he who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge (prov. 14:26).

just thinking about my little girl lately. carissa and i watched "father of the bride" on monday, and it's amazing to think how little time we will have with jolie alanna. she hasn't even arrived yet and we're already worrying about when we'll put her in kindergarten, what books i want to read to her at bed-time, what interests will drive us crazy through her high school years, when i'll have to buy my first shot-gun to ward off the boys, who she'll end up marrying...i mean...wow! there's a lot to worry about! and if my life's flown by so fast...it's just scary to think about...

but then i read a proverb like this that gives me divine insight into the source of my security.

it's in the fear of the Lord.

my fortress is Him.

and by choosing to live in a conscious state of healthy fear in recognition of His holiness and character, He will also protect and secure my wonderful wife and little girl.

i can trust in the Lord.

i can't imagine not having that fortress to run back to. not having a real source of security.

our God is good. all the time.

after

my time of solitude did not disappoint. solely because my God cannot disappoint.

it was amazing, to say the least! energizing. refreshing. refocusing. fulfilling. just...wonderful. because my God is wonderful!

as i sat in the quiet of the woods, listening to the gurgle of the gentle waterfall and the rustle of leaves in the trees as the wind and the occasional squirrel disturbed them, i communed with God. it was a holy place. because God was there with me. He reminded me of what He has done in my life over the last 15 years or so. He encouraged and strengthened me with His Words. He filled my heart with love...reminding me that my relationship with Him is my most valuable treasure and my dependence upon Him is of utmost importance. and He filled my lungs with song. and the song that had to burst of out of my mouth embodied all that He was impressing on me:

just give me Jesus!

before

so this week our church is exploring the discipline of SOLITUDE.

love it! can't wait! this is the discipline i've been looking forward to the most. the challenge is to go spend 2 hours and 48 minutes all alone with God (that number generated by 1 minute for every hour of the week). already it's a challenge to look into the week's schedule and find a time to squeeze it in.

we've got some people fired up at us for this one. how could we ask so much out of people?! don't we know that our schedules are packed?! and we should be more considerate of the "stages of life" that people find themselves chained to! some people just can't do that!!

i personally can't wait to hear what people say AFTER they spend that amount of time alone with God!

ya know, our culture isn't very tolerant of silence. we're surrounded by noise all the time...often voluntarily. silence has become awkward. and you have to be doing something!

don't believe me?

next time you're in a crowded place with a bunch of strangers, just notice how many people whip out their cell phones. and i bet you half of them aren't really using them...they're just staring at the screens, averting their eyes from others, pushing random buttons to keep from feeling the awkwardness of standing their doing nothing. and you laugh...because you know you've done it! then there's the people who pretend to be talking on the cell phone...just so it looks like they're busy! (even more awkward when that phone starts ringing while they're "talking")

and there's this unspoken competition to see who can handle the busiest schedule and make it look like they've got life by the horns.

solitude is tough! so carving out a chunk of time that long to just spend alone with God??? no way!!!

i know i'm guilty of avoiding it.

i went to school in chicago...which presents it's own unique opposition to silence. but there were times when i would go into a closet in our dorm, shut the door and turn off the lights...then i would just sit there. and stay there. ... it usually took me about 30-45 minutes for my brain to finally grow weary of wandering...and then i would talk to God. that was some of the most focused time i ever spent with Him.

and you know what? i never once walked out of that closet and thought, wow, i can't believe i wasted that much time just sitting there talking to God. no, almost every time i can remember i walked out thinking, why don't i come back here more often?

so i'm going tonight.

carissa and i are heading to a state park about 20 miles away. and i'm going off into the woods to just spend 3 hours all alone with God.

i need it. i can feel it. and i have no idea what to expect...

can you hear me now?

pursuing God through spiritual disciplines. that's the series we've started at church. it's amazing if you ask me. opens up all sorts of discussions about sanctification, legalism, growth, accountability. and it's just plain hard.

in his book, The Practice of Godliness, jerry bridges reevaluates the idea of spiritual disciplines which normally conjures up thoughts of perpetual actions carried out in the pursuit of higher spirituality. His definition of godliness is "devotion to God which results in a life that is pleasing to Him." That devotion, he suggests, is "a personal attitude toward God that results in actions that are pleasing to God." a simple yet concise synthesis of the goal of each believer's life: "whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Cor. 10:31).

so this next week we will be embarking on the adventure of solitude. and i honestly get pumped just thinking about it. i guess i'm one of those personalities that enjoys the presence of people but also looks forward to the confines of quiet peace. but we're not talking a simple retreat from people. we're talking a retreat from the hum-drum of life. which, in our case is difficult to do. just listen for a minute...do you hear signs of productivity and advancement in the distance? it only takes about 20 seconds for me to recognize the sounds of automotive engineering enabling the continuance of busy schedules. and i'm sitting her looking at a computer screen tempting me to re-review those sports scores from professional games that occurred hundreds of miles from here only hours ago. and there's always the threat of a rumble and jingle from the cell phone in my pocket interrupting my already noisy hour...life is loud.

but i want to get away. i want to get away to where verizon wireless can't hear me now. alone. but not alone.

for me...the best place is outside in God's creation. just waiting, watching, listening, smelling, experiencing...creation exalting God.

so i created a movie/slideshow for youth group that kind of takes us on a tour of our planet. and i begin to realize how amazing God's creation is.

and i can't wait to explore.

and to think we've got all eternity to "be still and know that I am God."

your world, interrupted

life passes us by.

that's a well-worn thought in poetry and philosophy, and i often revert back to it in introspection. but it seems to fly by faster the older i get. i'm turning 24 in june (it feels old to me), and carissa and i are expecting our first baby girl to arrive within the same month. and sometimes i just stand back and think, wow...how did this happen? it's already been 6 years since i graduated from high school! life is fleeting.

but then something happens. and life gets interrupted.

it may be the loss of a loved one, the pain involved in the destruction of a family, a sudden life-threatening illness, or maybe even a catastrophic event that shapes the course of history. life is just flying by casually when suddenly our world is rocked and interrupted. just as it was when the news of the terrorist attacks on 9/11 registered in our minds. all the things that we were concerned with and looking forward to that day were suddenly put on hold. it was as if our whole world just stopped. and life would never be the same.

well, last week we experienced an event that was completed in less than a minute, and hardly classifies as catastrophic, but nonetheless woke me up to reality.

i was rudely awaken by my mattress shaking me and tossing me back and forth. i initially thought carissa must be having a hard time getting up to go the bathroom. apparently she was thinking the same of me. then in a daze it hit us...someone's in our room! so both of us sprang up to see who had snuck into our house to attack us in bed. but there was no one there. then we heard the rattle of dishes in the kitchen and realized that the entire house was shaking significantly.

no way...we're in indiana. we don't have earthquakes in indiana!

so when the shaking subsided, i leaped out of bed and rushed to the tv convinced that we had been bombed and i would turn on the news to see most of ohio blown off the map (hey, ohio's the "heart of it all").

well, needless to say, i survived my first earthquake. (and just so you know, i'm not crazy...the nurse at our doctor's office thought it was aliens...but yes, i've had to face a certain degree of ridicule for my initial assumptions)

but nothing was broken. and californians would laugh at the naivete and enthusiasm in which we hoosiers responded to such a minor occurrence. but it's indiana for crying out loud!! and i already admitted that the incident was hardly catastrophic, but carissa and i just laid in bed talking about it afterward.

ya know, we put so much effort into all our stuff. accumulating, enhancing, protecting. and we get so comfortable with life, but God is fully capable of rocking our world...even the very ground beneath us! God can interrupt our world whenever He wants.

and it reminded me of matt. 24:42-44, where Jesus tells us to "be ready" because we do not know when He's coming back. at any moment, God can put everything on hold and reveal the vanity in our lives by interrupting this world and changing history forever.

and i wonder, am i going to be interrupted? or am i going to be ready? will He find me diligently and passionately pursuing Him and awaiting His return, or will He find me chasing after the wind?

so be ready. because very soon our world will be interrupted.

dinner with murph

front porch living! there's nothing like it. our little house on lincoln street is incredible...categorically included in the "abundance" column of our list of blessings from the Lord. one of our favorite features is the cement slab front porch desperately in need of paint that's furnished with wicker and deck furniture. we love the freedom of eating dinner outside in the cool breeze of spring's arrival. the comfortable neighborhood is peacefully inviting, and the neighbor kids and their trampoline add just the right touch for normality. so it's impossible to ignore the opportunity to enjoy the atmosphere, and it's a perfect excuse to grill out. that is...if i could keep my charcoal grill lit. last night we had to settle for the george forman. and although i'm fond of our fat-reducing-grilling-machine, it slightly spoils the concept. but not enough to keep us from enjoying the moment.

dinner on the front porch.

so we invited a neighbor. well...i guess, technically, our fat-reduced venison burgers did the inviting. it took all of three seconds for our neighbor murphey to smell the spread and come panting over to join us. he's a wonderful neighbor with big, sad, brown eyes who calmly saunters over from two houses away to make sure our unpacking is going well and politely waits to sample any sustenance we may be enjoying.

murphey is a rather old neighbor, although you wouldn't be able to tell from his golden hair. and i don't think i've ever seen him open his mouth except in food consumption. so he remains pleasant, patient and peaceful.

and last night we couldn't resist.

i'm sure there's something in etiquette against inviting oneself over for dinner, but murphey really did mind his manners. and it was over when he looked longingly into our eyes with a whimper. so we graciously dipped into the fruit bowl to offer him a taste of cantaloupe, grapes and bananas. but he took one sniff and ignored it.

typical.

it wasn't long before carissa convinced me that she couldn't possibly finish her entire burger by herself and was much better off sharing it anyway. so our friend murphey was welcomed onto our front porch to enjoy dinner with us.

and God taught me a lesson last night during dinner.

i couldn't help but think of murphey's ungrateful dismissal of what was offered to him. and i thought about all that God's provided for me. and to be honest...all i've been thinking about lately is what i can buy that will make our house and life more comfortable and enjoyable. that stupid charcoal grill needs replacing, the flower beds need some enhancement, the front porch light isn't exactly what we would have picked out, our picnic table is missing an umbrella, our tv is missing a cable hook-up (and currently, an MIA remote), the front pathway could use some new landscaped stones, and it would be awesome to have a hammock stretch between 2 of the trees outback...and...

then God reminds me that it's all abundance. i've been blessed with so much!! and there are some things that don't come with a price tag and will always remain invaluable. but these gifts and blessings aren't given for the purpose of inflaming an insatiable hunger for more. they are given to instill in me a deep-seated trust and reliance on Jehovah Jireh.

so i've been asking Him, Lord, teach me contentment.

all from a dinner with murph.

that city.

God made the earth. and God made man. and ever since that time, since the instruction to be fruitful and multiply was heeded, man has gravitated to the city.

it's a staggering thought to try to imagine the beginning of a city. some man walking through a few rolling hills stabs a stake into the earth and claims his territory. soon others follow suite and surround this man's territory. soon more and more begin to live in the same vicinity. and they begin to rely upon one another for survival and profit from each others needs. using their skills to develop a community that can sustain even more inhabitants. until there are too many for them to be acquainted with everyone in the area. and there is a city.

it's like there's an inherent magnet within the body of man that pulls him closer to others.

no man is an island.

but there is something intriguing about a city. it can be altogether terrifying and exciting. it can coax or repulse a tourist. it can seem crazy and comfortable. you can stand lonely in a crowd, completely anonymous, or connect with an inviting community. there is something about a city...

and throughout history it can hardly be disproved that the events which mark the pages of the books and memories of our minds do not primarily occur within the cities of the world. it is the stage on which the acts of time are played and recalled.

the city.

it is inescapable. we look to the city.

and yet, we are looking for "the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God" (hebrews 11:10). "The city of the living God" (hebrews 12:22).

that's our journey's end.

"what no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him" (1 cor. 2:9).

and we look forward to that city.

a great example

a little morning reading has intrigued me. the account of abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son isaac is familiar territory, but a sudden glimpse of his perspective leaves me dumbfounded by his motive.

the account is raw. it is barbaric. and it makes absolutely no sense to me.

if i could see through the eyes of abraham and reason with his perspective. if i were steeped in the unspoken values and expectations of that culture.

i wonder if children were sacrificed in the worship of gods during abraham's life. did he witness that perversion in the temples of the cities he passed through? and what was his assessment of that practice?

i wonder what abraham knew of noah. of enoch. of adam. of God.

he did have the benefit of seeing the faithfulness of God in his past, which would inspire a better certainty of hope and trust for the future. and he was certainly blessed with a personal relationship with God, but he was not privileged as we are with the end of the story. most of the record we enjoy of God's actions and interventions has yet to occur.

and yet he obeys a simple but devastating command. sacrifice your only son. whom you love.

i find nothing in it for abraham.

all of God's promises hinge on that boy. all the blessings were to be fulfilled through abraham's son isaac. he was to be the father of a mighty nation. and yet he could only see the beginning of that nation in the face of that boy. his only son. whom he loved. to sacrifice him would be to sacrifice all the promises. to kill him would be to kill hope. to lose him would be to lose his beloved. so i ask...what's in it for abraham?!

...unless the promises do not hinge on that boy at all. unless the linchpin for hope is really found in God Himself.

and abraham's act of obedience is an expression of deep reverence for "the Lord, the Everlasting God" (Gen 21:33). his motive is exposed and stands forever as an exemplary pillar in the great hall of faith.

i stand in the shadow amazed.

for the miles ahead

we are passing a mile marker.

the time has come to leave our first apartment.

so many memories. so many emotions.

we are so excited to be moving on, and the little house just a few blocks away is a God-send. but we've loved our first apartment as a married couple. to be sure, it's come with struggles and imperfections. we'll be glad to avoid the noise and second-hand smoke from our downstairs neighbors. we're excited to actually have another bedroom for our little baby...and any guests who warm our home. it will be fun to have a yard and a porch to sit on.

but ya know...if these walls could talk...

we will forever remember and cherish these moments invested here in our first home. we will especially be inspired by the faithfulness and provisions of a good God. He is our Jehovah-Jirah. the Lord our Provider.

this mile marker will be a fond reminder of the goodness of God and His blessings. and with that reminder we turn to face the future with hope.

so for the miles ahead, i am profoundly thankful for this mile marker.

simple, not easy

so christmas is over. the new year has rolled in. the change that 2008 promises has begun. and i'm finally able to sit for a few minutes and reflect a little on what's been going on.

it's been a fun new year for my wife and i so far. a new quest has begun. we're past our 1-year anniversary, and we're expecting the birth of our first baby in june (staggering and exciting thought). but the new quest isn't really something new...just something we've freshly committed to. it shames me to say this...but after a year of marriage i realized that i had never stepped up as a leader and lead us in consistent devotions. but now we have been enjoying the blessings of spending more time together in God's Word and on our knees (figuratively speaking...she's doing less bending over these days).

through this commitment, God has already been impressing on our hearts the simplicity of His call on our lives. that's right...it's SIMPLE! notice i didn't say easy...just simple.

He says, "obey Me".

we like to make it so complicated. trying to worry over and manipulate what we can't change (our circumstances)...and we lose sight of what we have a responsibility to change (our character). God is more concerned about my CHARACTER than He is about my CIRCUMSTANCES. and all He says to me is, "obey." that simple.

and He blesses obedience.

why do i make things so complicated? it's almost embarrassing to me that it feels like this realization of the simplicity of God's call on my life seems like such a water-shed event in my life right now. but it's helping me put things into perspective. just obey God. right now. in the little things. all the little choices i have to make right now...i can make choices to obey God.

then someday, after days and days of perseverance and consistent obedience, i want to hear those words, "well done, good and faithful servant."