the unoriginal question

you ever had those times in your life when you just couldn't keep yourself from asking the "God's will" question? i've read a hundred books, pamphlets and articles and listened to as many sermons and devotionals on the subject. i know that God gives us clear direction for how He desires us to walk today. i've even counseled people with these encouraging words. it's possible to know the will of God...dig into the scriptures and see how He wants you to live your life today.

i know that He doesn't always speak in an audible voice or post it in the sky or send you a check in the mail or a random stranger with a timely message or a fortune cookie or even give you a vision to let you know what His will is. and i know that it's a waste of time to sweat and search for the next "dot" to step on. so why am i wrestling with the question?

why?

i keep asking what...what am i supposed to do...what is it you want God? or where...where do you want me? or when...when is the right time? but maybe i should just be asking why?

why am i asking?

the more i ask the what, where and when questions, the more general my focus becomes. then i'm stepping back wondering what am i doing here and now? then it seems life gets a little fuzzy. and the questions pour quickly off of a troubled mind. a fearful mind.

if i'm honest, the why is probably because i'm scared. and i'm not trusting. i'm not thankful. not content. i'm not passionately pursuing. i'm not actively engaged. i'm not focused. and i'm not worshiping.

i started writing this blog with the intent of just venting the questions i'm feeling. but i guess i know what question i should be asking right now.

am i walking obediently today?

now convicted, i have a little business with my Maker...

sports town

i love the city.

going to school in chicago for 3 years fostered some of my fondest memories in life. and now carissa and i are getting to know the city of indianapolis...a little scaled down, but still a lot of fun. i also have a strange love affair with cleveland. i was born there. and it was in cleveland that i got my first taste of stadium mustard and my favorite jewish deli. but i've recently fallen for the historic hub of new england and the home of my (wonderful, lovely, amazing) wife...boston.

boston is filled with rich cultural adventures and as you walk the line you can feel the aura of a city with a past closing in around you with stories to tell that will have you hooked for hours. i can't wait to go back and explore it again.

but ya know what i think i love most about the city. it's the sports.

a real sports town is where i'd love to settle down. that's what i love most about cleveland...more than the mustard and jewish food, it's my indians, cavs and browns. and because of my wife and her love for boston...i too now can join the nation (as long as they aren't playing my indians). it's awesome to have the guarantee of seeing your teams' games on tv when you live in that city. and your newspapers and sportscasters are all biased...its amazing!


i know, you're thinking...sports? you're being all intellectual with sports? (to that i'll just remind you that i'm a youth pastor)


so i've been following this year's NBA draft lottery. mainly because i'm interested in those boston celtics...and if you heard anything about this year's lottery and the story of boston's demise...you will know it is tragic for the city's loyal fanbase. it really doesn't get much worse. this year seemed to be their year. they had a shot (and a good one) at landing the #1 pick in the draft...which would most likely have been the storied Greg Oden (a buckeye...go bucks!) who could really have turned this town around in basketball...brought back the glory days...

but "luck" seems to be against them. the celtics fell to the #5 pick of the draft, and you'll most likely find the true celtic lovers still struggling to find the bottom of the glass.

and you're thinking...it's sports. that's dumb. it's just a game. and for once...although i'm a huge sports fan...i agree.

now, i know what they're feeling in boston. trust me. i'm a cleveland fan. but i read an article by celtics avid espn columnist, and i was impressed by the humor he mustered despite his woe and agony. check it out: simmon's sports column. here's a man who's life is wrapped up in sports and yet you can sense the irony as he laughs at himself for taking it all so seriously.

i respect that. when you're down...you can still laugh. and i know you're thinking this is pointless, but think about it for a minute. it just reminded me about my life. man, i get so down about everything. and the mole hills become mountains and life seems rough...but if you put it into perspective (like i'll admit we all should with sports) it's really not as big a deal as we think.

life is short. and then i'm going to heaven to be with my Savior!!

the rest i can just laugh about...

ol' school stuff

so last week the Lord was trying to get my attention with the magnificence of His Word...i told you this (check out "cutting edge?").

well it happened like this: getting ready for 24/6 generation (our high school youth group) this week, but really excited this time. because frankly, i didn't have to dream up some relevant discussion topic or pop brain cells trying to think of some highly intellectual and provocative question that our students had actually never thought about but always subconsciously wondered. it was nice. it was refreshing.
i went back to the ol' school stuff.
the stuff i actually went to school for. cuz it dawned on me: ya know, both the schools i went to for my college education had it as their middle name! (Word of Life BIBLE Institute & Moody BIBLE Institute).

*ok...random side note: i just noticed that the "word of life" link has a picture of my brother on the home page...weird...he's the bald guy...ok...back to me.... ;)

"so anyways..." now i'm just getting carried away with links. so if you're still reading this, i apologize for the trail...it dawned on me that i had gone to school to learn the Word of God. and honestly, it was in my first semester at Word of Life that i began to see the power that it has to change lives.

i can still remember sitting in my dorm room thinking. thinking that i wasn't interested in a position, a job, an image, or whatever...i just wanted to give my life to sharing the truth and power of God's Holy, awesome Word!! that was it!!! how did i lose sight of that???

so i went retro....or old school...or conservative...or whatever you wanna call it. i like "exegetical". it's not the only way to teach. but it works. and i love it. i just started with a passage of scripture and taught what the passage was saying. sure, since we're doing the 40 Days of Community we had a topic for the night, "growing together". so i went back to when i started growing...when i fell in love with the Words of life. i went to psalm 119. some rich theology on the value of the Lord's commands and obedience.

we just opened up the Scriptures and let them speak for themselves.

check it out: Psalm 119:33-40. the psalmist is so real. so helpless. and he's crying out to God in petition. Lord, teach me...and i will obey! (33) But not only teach me...i need help understanding! (34) i used to feel that way in algebra 2 or chemistry...that teacher could be pouring her heart into teaching, but i needed some divine intervention to put any logical sense to the words coming outa her mouth! here the psalmist is putting his complete dependence on the Lord. i need you to teach me so i can obey, and i need you to help me understand what you're teaching me so i can obey. and then...i need help even obeying! (35) pretty dependent here...teach me, help me understand and help me obey. then, incline my heart, help me want to obey! (36) and get rid of distractions (37). let me see it in my life so i can worship you (38). help me remember that all your ways are good...You are a good God...not some cosmic kill-joy, but a loving Father who knows what's best for His children (39). God, i want Your Word...i want the life You offer! (40) His Words give real LIFE!!!

call it ol' school. but i'm good with that. i love God's Word. it's amazing....