the unoriginal question

you ever had those times in your life when you just couldn't keep yourself from asking the "God's will" question? i've read a hundred books, pamphlets and articles and listened to as many sermons and devotionals on the subject. i know that God gives us clear direction for how He desires us to walk today. i've even counseled people with these encouraging words. it's possible to know the will of God...dig into the scriptures and see how He wants you to live your life today.

i know that He doesn't always speak in an audible voice or post it in the sky or send you a check in the mail or a random stranger with a timely message or a fortune cookie or even give you a vision to let you know what His will is. and i know that it's a waste of time to sweat and search for the next "dot" to step on. so why am i wrestling with the question?

why?

i keep asking what...what am i supposed to do...what is it you want God? or where...where do you want me? or when...when is the right time? but maybe i should just be asking why?

why am i asking?

the more i ask the what, where and when questions, the more general my focus becomes. then i'm stepping back wondering what am i doing here and now? then it seems life gets a little fuzzy. and the questions pour quickly off of a troubled mind. a fearful mind.

if i'm honest, the why is probably because i'm scared. and i'm not trusting. i'm not thankful. not content. i'm not passionately pursuing. i'm not actively engaged. i'm not focused. and i'm not worshiping.

i started writing this blog with the intent of just venting the questions i'm feeling. but i guess i know what question i should be asking right now.

am i walking obediently today?

now convicted, i have a little business with my Maker...