joy in the journey

it's been a very busy week...2 funerals, extra meetings, trying to work ahead on my sermon for next week...just plain busy. although I long ago resigned myself to the fact that that's just the way life works, there are days/weeks/seasons when life truly is busier than normal. and since we are short-staffed @ church and desperately trying to catch up, my schedule has been crazy! pastor terry has referred to our situation as "survival mode"...and that pretty much sums it all up.

I have been enjoying this season though...as there is always lots to do, there is also always lots more to be thankful for! the best part has been the harvest of souls...we have seen around 40 people trust Christ for salvation in the last 2 months! that is truly exciting and plenty of reason to keep rejoicing!

we have also enjoyed good family time. last saturday Carissa and I built a tent for Jolie out of pvc pipe and bedsheets...lots of fun! and I can't believe all the words she is saying...she brings so much laughter and so many smiles into our home! and it's been exciting to watch, even tonight, as Carissa's belly rocks from Judah's kicks and punches...can't believe we're only about 3 months away from holding him! and we're also looking forward to seeing family soon. chris and veronica are getting married in a month...wow! and then Carissa & Jolie are planning a trip out to massachusetts over spring break. i'm glad they are going, but I wish I could go too...but I gotta save up my vacation time for Judah's arrival!

and I haven't even mentioned that we're still planning on moving to NC at the end of june...one of these days we'll plop down on the couch, look at each other, sigh, and ask, "how did we get through all that?". and the answer of course will be: "God." which may sound cliche, but we are accutely aware that we are utterly dependent on Him.

so we lay our heads down each night exhausted but thankful that we can trust in a sovereign God. and we rejoice each day. because, as I was reminded by michael card today, there is a joy in the journey!

- Posted from my iPod

judah's 24 week ultrasound

there's my little boy.  and what a joy he is already to us!  it was incredible to watch him move around, try to suck his thumb, try to suck his arm, cover his face with his hands, bounce with his hiccups, punch mommy's belly...wow.  he's a miracle!  and my heart is filled with love!  thank You, Lord, for the gift of my son!

progress on my reading goal

i finished my 1st book towards accomplishing my 2020 vision of reading 100 books in the next 10 years. i feel a little behind, but i've got 4 other books that are mostly read...just need to finish them (story of my life). i've also determined not to open the cover of another before i'm done with the 4 already started. noble goal, but we'll see...

the review is coming, but my 1st book finished is: "orthodoxy" by g.k. chesterton. incredible read!

carissa, my love...

what a joy my wife is to me.

usually when valentine's day approaches i feel a little anxious and rushed trying to figure out something to do for carissa that will tell her i love her. this year i waited until the 11th hour...in between services sunday morning! and nothing says 'i love you' quite like a mcdonalds breakfast! it wasn't much. really i don't have a fascinating story to brag about...like sky-diving with a sign that says 'i love you', or buying a really fancy piece of jewelry, or writing a love song...but we had time this weekend to just...be with each other.

and as i take time to just look @ her and take her in...i fall in love all over again. she is breathtaking! she is my beauty. and just talking to her fills my heart with warmth, comfort and continual mystery. i love that. she is my friend. and she is my joy. what a gift she is to me!

carissa, my love, you are my valentine!

rest

rest. sometimes it's hard for me to get rest, and then sometimes when i'm resting it's hard to know if i've really rested. know what i mean?

i've had a couple days here to stay home and not have to go anywhere or really do anything. i look forward to days like these, but sometimes it's a struggle to feel satisfied when it doesn't seem like i've accomplished much. but maybe that's the point of rest...

really, the past 2 days have been a wonderful time of hanging out with my girls...sleeping in, making breakfast together, playing whatever Jolie wants, reading, talking, and just enjoying my family! growing in my relationships with Carissa & Jolie...now that's accomplishing something! and that is satisfying. maybe rest is relational. and the only accomplishment in rest is just that: rest.

thank You, Lord, for the gift of rest!

- Posted from my iPod

i got my answer.

well, we're staying here in crawfordsville until the end of june. i've been asking the Lord constantly for direction and provision, and i got my answer for now. not what i was expecting...but it was His answer. so we are here to help Rock Point church as best as we can through this transition.

really, it's been a blessing. we love it here, and we love the people. and thinking about having judah here (beginning of june) around our friends and church family is awesome...as well as the benefit of not having to find a new doctor to deliver. so, although this wasn't what we were planning, the Lord has been taking care of us, and we're excited to be sticking around for a little while longer.

yesterday was spent organizing and prioritizing. i want to be effective with my time...and really, i know it will fly by. and then today we've been hit with yet another snow storm...postponing events and meetings for another day. oh well. the snow is beautiful. and God is good.

stunned by sovereignty

the past couple months have just been a whirlwind. so much has and is happening, but i guess that's just life. there haven't been too many times where life really slows down for me, but in all the craziness lately the issue of God's sovereignty keeps coming up. i feel like i've had to explore it and explain it to more people in the last couple weeks than i have in my whole ministry experience (which is just 4 months shy of 4 years). obviously questions revolving around the issue of sovereignty arise out of circumstances that are tough to understand and explain. why are these things happening? why does God allow this? what's His purpose in this?

but i have to admit that, even though we have faced some challenging circumstances that still leave me a bit puzzled, i'm more assured of God's sovereignty than ever before.

i've been reminded of the 2 different forms of "God's will": His planative will & His decretive will. His planative will is His overall plan. God has A plan...not a plan B or plan C. He is in control. nothing surprises Him or catches Him off guard. He is omnipotent and omniscient, and He is infinite. unfortunately i am finite and limited in my understanding...which means i am incapable of knowing & understanding His planative will. but i don't need to.

i need to know His decretive will. and the best part is, i CAN know His decretive will! His decretive will is His decrees or His commands. those He has clearly spelled out for me in His authoritative and sufficient Word.

so, i don't have to know "WHY?". because i know "WHO!"

i know God. i know Him through His Word...His revelation. which is an act of love. i have a relationship with Him. and it's through Christ...proof of His love.

understanding the balance between God's sovereignty and man's free will is an age-old theological & philosophical battle ground littered with the thoughts and lives of godly men who have gone before me. though the two positions seem polarizing and incongruent, i believe they do not cancel each other out. because i believe that in God's sovereign will He has decreed man's free will. and somehow in His infinite purpose those 2 truths are not in conflict.

loved A.W. Tozer's work on this subject in chapter 22 of The Knowledge of the Holy. his illustration of the ocean liner with a predetermined course filled with passengers free to roam about the ship as they pleased was helpful in my mind. although even that illustration is hinged upon the unforeseen (for us) knowledge of God's planative will...whether that ocean liner really will reach its predetermined destination or not. so it's not a sufficient picture. but we're trying to wrap our minds around an infinite God which is in itself contradictory to say.

so as i've been writing curriculum, responding to theological questions, researching and reading i've been encouraged that this quest to understand God's will and sovereignty is not in vain because it leads me back to a quiet starting point: trust. that is the issue. will i question WHO He is? questioning God is the oldest trick in the book (genesis 3), which leads to not trusting and rebellion. so do i question Him? or will i trust Him and seek to live my life in obedience to His decretive will for His ultimate glory?

oh to have faith like a child.

anticipating robin hood

i have to admit my excitement here...ridley scott and russell crowe are teaming up again (previous projects: gladiator, a good year, and american gangster) to bring us a retelling of ROBIN HOOD! (currently set to arrive in theaters on may 14, 2010) i cannot always endorse scott's movies, but i can't help admitting that gladiator is one of my all-time favorite movies (if not my top choice for fav movie). what he and crowe were able to capture of the glory of the roman empire in gladiator was spectacular and inspiring! and it sounds like his intentions are to attempt to harness that same grandeur for the historical kingdom of england in this new film.

i'm aware that another installment in the robin hood films genre is unnecessary. but i believe the duo of scott and crowe can accomplish for robin hood lore what christopher nolan and christian bale have successfully added to the legend of batman. which means, robin hood has the potential to break into my top favorite movies of all-time!

there, that's plenty of hype for me...now i just hope they deliver!

sin of the tongue

made a really stupid comment last night in our deacons meeting. it was in the context of joking around, and it was just untimely and inappropriate under the circumstances. one of those moments where you just blurt something out before really thinking about it, and then you realize...wow, that was really dumb. ever have one of those moments?

well, it just revealed to me my lack of self-control with my words. and when i rid myself of vague and fancy terminology to explain and diminish my actions, it boils down to one word: sin. i've sought forgiveness from the LORD and from those in the meeting last night for my words. it may not have seemed like a big deal to some...but it's a gross sin to spout off without restraint revealing the carelessness of my heart.

i often come back to proverbs 10:19 which simply says, "when words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent." LORD, i want to be a prov. 10:19 man! i had to admit to myself this morning that i'm unfortunately not very good with humor. i love to laugh, and i love to joke around...but too often my humor ends up with my foot in my mouth...or worse, hurting someone. how i long to be able to joke around and have a good time with people in a way that is truly pleasing to the LORD. i want Him to be chuckling with me...not forced to prick my heart because of sin with my careless tongue.

blessings @ the friendship kitchen

had an incredible weekend! saturday morning was our flock's turn to serve at the "friendship kitchen" (our local soup kitchen). i can't tell you how fun it was to see the body of Christ at work! some had prepared food, some were serving, some were doing dishes, some were just talking with people...each using their gifts and serving as a collective body to minister to people! praise God!

i was personally blessed by all the people i was able to talk to. you know, sometimes you reach out to people and try to give a listening ear and it's hard not to just feel sorry for them. it's also hard for me to see potential in their lives. what a horrible thought...i'm completely ashamed of it! i wish i had better faith and vision. and i wish i could see God's perspective. my criteria that i usually look for in people to see their potential for effective ministry is so worldly. forgive me, LORD! they are people. and they have stories. sometimes those stories are tragic. sometimes you can visually see the trail of sinful habits and consequences they have/are living with. i have a story. and it's no different. i am a recipient of the grace of God! LORD, teach me to share that hope in your grace. let me be a trophy of grace! keep my heart close to You, daily reminded of your mercy and grace!

i was touched by their stories. because they're human like mine...they're not just "the poor people". they are people. and some of them are hurting, and they need God to work in their lives. maybe He was using me. some of them are being used of God to minister to others! LORD, give me the clarity to see how You are working. that you don't just work through the sophisticated and the seemingly-have-it-all-together, middle class Christians. You work through broken vessels...trophies of Your grace!

then i was touched in our flock meeting last night by the excitement from all our flock members because of the chance to serve together. it was encouraging to see how each of us are wired and gifted differently by God, and how He can use us as we serve together.

so i hope we were a blessing to those we served @ the friendship kitchen...because i was certainly blessed by them and by our flock. thank You, LORD!