my brain won't shut off

so much going through my heart and mind today:
1. i need a heart that is passionate for the lost.  i'm ashamed that i think of myself as so spiritually mature, and yet this simple, absolutely necessary characteristic is inexcusably missing from my life.  Lord, give me a passion for the lost!  Give me courage to intentionally be with those who don't know You, and share gospel!
2. i never want to get past the gospel.  again, i'm ashamed that my prideful self-righteousness has regularly ignored facing and rejoicing in the profoundly simple truth that i am a sinner in need of a Savior and that Savior is Jesus.  i know that i can never lose my salvation, and justification was an instantaneous, once-for-all moment...but i'm as much in need of God's grace today in my life as i was the moment i was saved.
3. i need to be assertive in finding an accountability bro in NC.  he needs to know where i've been, where i need to be, where i don't need to be, and where i am.  i need him.
4. we're praying that God would give us life-long friends to meet, grow with, and enjoy down in wake forest...friends that are passionately in love with Christ who will push us in our walk and encourage us in ministry
5. i'm praying for a job that i can enjoy that will allow me to enjoy time with my family
6. thinking about what the focus of my passion and ministry is...i believe i can sum it up like this: i want to teach guys God's Word.


i suppose being the verbal processor that i am i really need to sit down and talk to someone about all this stuff that's rumbling through my heart and mind.  but i just wanted to get some of this down in writing for my own benefit later.  and pray for my wife's patience as i process.  Lord, thank you for a loving, respectful, understanding, and patient wife!