my brain won't shut off

so much going through my heart and mind today:
1. i need a heart that is passionate for the lost.  i'm ashamed that i think of myself as so spiritually mature, and yet this simple, absolutely necessary characteristic is inexcusably missing from my life.  Lord, give me a passion for the lost!  Give me courage to intentionally be with those who don't know You, and share gospel!
2. i never want to get past the gospel.  again, i'm ashamed that my prideful self-righteousness has regularly ignored facing and rejoicing in the profoundly simple truth that i am a sinner in need of a Savior and that Savior is Jesus.  i know that i can never lose my salvation, and justification was an instantaneous, once-for-all moment...but i'm as much in need of God's grace today in my life as i was the moment i was saved.
3. i need to be assertive in finding an accountability bro in NC.  he needs to know where i've been, where i need to be, where i don't need to be, and where i am.  i need him.
4. we're praying that God would give us life-long friends to meet, grow with, and enjoy down in wake forest...friends that are passionately in love with Christ who will push us in our walk and encourage us in ministry
5. i'm praying for a job that i can enjoy that will allow me to enjoy time with my family
6. thinking about what the focus of my passion and ministry is...i believe i can sum it up like this: i want to teach guys God's Word.


i suppose being the verbal processor that i am i really need to sit down and talk to someone about all this stuff that's rumbling through my heart and mind.  but i just wanted to get some of this down in writing for my own benefit later.  and pray for my wife's patience as i process.  Lord, thank you for a loving, respectful, understanding, and patient wife!

book #5: it

i hate being that guy.

you know the guy i'm talking about?  he's the one you're always warned about: don't be that guy!  it usually hits you when you're listening to someone talk about him or write about him, saying things like, don't be the guy that does this or does that...  and for me, i'm usually self-righteous enough to think, yeah, i can't believe that guy!  i'm glad i'm not like him!  he just doesn't get it.  that guy's always messing it up!  and often i'll even stoop to the pharisaical (albeit subconscious) prayer, Lord, thanks for helping me not be that guy!  i don't ever want to be that guy!


well, i have a confession to make...the book it kicked my butt.  and it kicked it over and over again.  and i have another confession to make...i started this book with a very critical spirit.  it sounded like another over-simplistic, theologically-watered-down, results-driven, hyped-up leadership formula guaranteed to bring success to those ministries willing to bow at the feet of the corporate model rather than the Word of God.  i'm ashamed at my prideful, self-righteous heart.

now, back to my original confession.  the more i read the more i couldn't escape it: i was that guy.

almost every chapter in part 2, "what contributes to it?", revealed my personal lack of it.  the more i read the worse it got.  it seemed like every few pages craig groeschel would give an example of that guy or ministry that didn't have it or had lost it...and it was like i was looking in a mirror.

if i'm willing to be honest i have to admit that i struggle to:
see it clearly
know where it is not
enjoy it with others
be courageous enough to do anything for it
fail towards it
want others to have it
and share it


and so what reads like a simple ministry leadership or Christian living book has profoundly impacted me personally.  i hope.  and i'm thankful for it.  so i purpose to make it my prayer, as he suggests, for God to:
stretch me.
ruin me.
heal me.

and i highly recommend it.

book #4: disciplines of a godly man

"it is an immutable fact that we will never get anywhere in life without discipline - especially in spiritual matters...none of us can claim an innate spiritual advantage. none of us are inherently righteous, none of us naturally seek God or are reflexively good.  therefore, as children of grace, our spiritual discipline is everything


no discipline, no discipleship!
no sweat, no sainthood!
no perspiration, no inspiration!
no pain, no gain!
no manliness, no maturity!" (p.224)

this comprehensive look at spiritual disciplines is definitely a must read for any guy that's serious about being sold out for Christ!  i will confess that it's taken me a while to finish the whole thing because i read a chapter a week (for the most part) for a weekly book study with some coaches at north montgomery high school...and i just today went back and finished the 4 chapters that i had missed.  but i purpose to come back and revisit this book in the future, because it is packed full of in-your-face, Biblical insight into how to truly become a God-honoring man.  i was first impressed by kent hughes' commentary on the book of ephesians, and this book has since sold me on his style of expositional teaching.  although each chapter dealt with a specific topic of discipline, he would most often simply exegete a passage of Scripture or a narrative from the Bible to pull out the Biblical principles that informs men of how God wants us to live specific to each facet of discipline.  each chapter carried a powerful message that was Biblically sound, insightful, practical, prophetic and urgent!

it covers the disciplines of: purity, marriage, fatherhood, friendship, mind, devotion, prayer, worship, integrity, tongue, work, church, leadership, giving, witness and ministry.  and the resources at the end of the book also include helpful tools that aid in the practical outworking of many of these disciplines.

this book will remain a constant tool in my development as a man of God and my ministry to others in search of living disciplined, Christ-honoring lives!  anyone needing and wanting help to become a man of God needs to read this book!

book #3: Thr3e

ironic.

book #3 on my 100 books to read by 2020 list (not including The Lost City of Z which my wife seems to think belongs on the list) is entitled Thr3e by Ted Dekker.

now let me just say that i have to work hard NOT to rely on fiction for my reading diet.  there's not often as much benefit in my mind as there is in engaging with authors thoughts unaided by story.  story can be a powerful tool however, and some of my favorite books are fictional (Safely Home by Randy Alcorn and Narnia for example).  i try my best to keep my reading list loaded with non-fictional works from authors that have proven to stimulate Christian thought and provide theological insight.  with that said, i also enjoy a few novels and thrillers just to make sure reading stays fun for me, and there is always something to learn...

[let this serve as a potential spoiler alert]
dekker is an interesting author.  this is only the second book i've read by him (the first being Skin), but both have been page-turners: fascinating stories with truly unforeseeable plot-twists that delve into mystery with a touch of horror...oh and he tries to make them theological.  that's where i kind of balk at his writing.  it is "christian".  but i can't say i'm thrilled with the theology he propounds.  Thr3e enters into the classic arena between good and evil, but it seems that dekker is ready to suggest a trichotomy where the real YOU is caught between the good YOU and the evil YOU almost as if the first YOU is an innocent bystander that simply has to make a choice between the other 2 (reminiscent of the depiction of a man with shoulder angels).  in fact, no where in this story is there drawn the distinction between the sin nature and the NEW nature of Spirit-indwelled believers.  it can be assumed from this book that ALL men are caught within this trichotomy he portrays through the main character.  and then there is no mention of the power of Christ that enables believers (when they yield to the Holy Spirit) to have victory over sin and defeat our sin nature (through the put off/put principle according to Eph. 4:22-24)...so he misses an opportunity to remind believers of the true power that is available to us in conquering sin.  i will say that he does a good job in some ways of portraying our propensity to sin and reminding us that all sin is just that: sin.  there is no hierarchy of sin (although there may be more consequences for some sins than others).

ultimately i am left with a fascinating story that kept me on the edge of my seat, but it comes up short in truly edifying my heart and mind with the Truth from the Word of God.

the heavens declare the glory of God

pure doxology is not only impacted by theology, it has no source but theology.  and as i've been compiling a referenced summary outline for our systematic theology course we're developing at church, song has been welling up inside me ready to burst out spontaneously and praise the greatness of our God.  of course, it takes communion with the LORD before that song takes flight.  and it came this morning as simply and quietly as that old chorus,

i love You, Lord
and i lift my voice
to worship You,
O my soul, rejoice!
take joy, my King
in what You hear
may it be a sweet, sweet sound
in Your ear.


yet even in that moment of contemplative praise i am humbled by the reality of my distracted heart.  oh, to fear the LORD and worship Him whole-heartedly, it is beyond my nature's ability.  only by the power of His Spirit living in me can i sincerely cry, i love You, Lord!


been thinking also of the role creation plays in revealing the majesty of God.  psalm 19:1-2 says, the heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork.  day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.  to those of us who see God, we see and appreciate the beauty of His creation.  but do we really appreciate science and the role that it plays in discovering the world around us which can aid our doxology?  or is science the enemy of Truth?
unfortunately it seems that science has often been pitted against religion, often because religion has felt threatened (not by science's discoveries but by scientists' interpretations of those discoveries...it's important to distinguish between the arguments and the true source of the arguments). and even more unfortunately, religion at times historically has acted on that sense of threat with brutal retaliation.  this is not general or universal as some would have us believe (*cough...dan brown...*cough), but their have been incidents that have developed this stereotype and led trigger-happy religious figures and scientists to furiously load their intellectual weapons and stand twitching at any sudden movement the other makes.  as a result it is often the tactic of secular scientists to discredit faith as a crutch for those not willing to face facts, and for religious leaders to either water down doctrine to fit current trends in popular thinking or to dismiss scientific discoveries as malicious hoaxes from atheistic attackers of faith.  (disclaimer: i am only making personal observations from the lay of the land as i see the battle rage between science and religion).
what saddens me though is why the Church is so hesitant to reconcile what we know to be general revelation (romans 1:19-20) with special revelation (2 tim. 3:16-17; deut. 29:29; john 1:14).  it seems to me that many church leaders even in the evangelical (and by that i mean those who truly hold to sola Scriptura and sola fide) and conservative circles that i run in shy away from general revelation all together, almost as if we're afraid of what we'll find there.  it seems there is a growing fear that if we truly peer into the natural world with the scientific method we (those of us who by faith believe in God and the authority of His Word) will not like what we see.  when nothing could be further from the Truth!

the heavens declare the glory of God.  it's as if we read that, but don't truly believe it.  is it a true statement?  a resounding and solidly reasonable, YES!!!

romans 1 makes it especially clear that "natural revelation yields a natural theology or a natural knowledge of God.  God's wrath is present, not because men fail to receive his natural revelation, but because, after receiving this knowledge, mankind fails to act appropriately.  they refuse to honor God or be grateful to him.  they suppress the truth of God" (What is Reformed Theology, R.C. Sproul, p.15).  romans 1:29 says that they literally "did not see fit to acknowledge God."  it is a choice men make to suppress the truth that has been revealed, and whether they will acknowledge it or not, it is true revelation that leaves them without excuse.
it's helpful for me to think about it in terms of 1st and 2nd things (a main concept in C.S. Lewis' writings).  when you put 1st things (God) first, you can then undersand and appreciate 2nd things (in this case, nature and man).  but when you put 2nd things first, you miss them both entirely.
those that claim an interpretation of scientific facts as the evidence against believing in God are not making discoveries that disprove Him, they are making a choice to reject Him.

it is not that they don't see nature, it is that they cannot hear what it is screaming to them!  and because we have been given divine revelation in the form of His Word we can clearly hear and appreciate the message that creation is singing.  and i'll add that we (as those who hold forth the Word of Life) have the responsibility to pass on a love for general revelation (His creation) and a hunger to explore the Brilliance it points to.  don't miss the message: the heavens declare the glory of God!!!

not one of the 100...

finally finished another book i'd been working on for awhile.  i had too many going on at the same time, and this one had to take a backseat to other priorities.  in fact, i don't even think i can include this in my list of 100 books i'll read by 2020...only because that goal really developed around the idea of being encouraged, challenged, and stimulated in my walk with Christ.  this was not really as directly linked to that goal as much as it was a subject of interest.
The Lost City of Z is a journalist's adventure to uncover the truth behind the mysterious disappearance of colonel percy harrison fawcett in 1925.  fawcett was an explorer who eventually became obsessed with the dream of discovering the city of el dorado (which he referred to simply as "z") deep in the heart of the amazon jungle.  david grann has done a masterful job of compiling the facts surrounding the lore and legend of both the mythical city of el dorado and the famous mystery that is percy fawcett's last expedition. the book is a compelling blend of investigative journalism, biography, history, anthropology, sociology, and at times it reads like a mystery novel.  a fascinating read if you feel like exploring the wild jungles (which then were merely blank spots on a map), escaping hostile tribesmen, persevering through the attacks of hordes of deadly insects, uncovering ancient artifacts, and pursuing the illusive mystery of el dorado.  it also provides interesting commentary on life, society, science and morals in the early twentieth century for all those history lovers.
it also looks like it's set to become a movie in 2012...should be interesting to see how they transform and adept this material to the silver-screen.

book #2: the winners manual

for the past 2 years i have had the privilege of leading the crawfordsville high school boy's basketball team through a book study over the course of their season.  it's been a tremendous honor, and has really been a lot of fun for me.  i love to read.  i love to teach.  and i don't get many opportunities to spend consistently outside of church-world...so this has been the perfect blend that has allowed me to enjoy a unique outreach that i hope and believe God has used.  i have been able to build a solid, trusting relationship with the coach, and this year he allowed me to choose the book from which we would read & discuss.  so with my desire to spread truth in the sport's world, i couldn't help but be drawn to Jim Tressel's The Winners Manual.  not only did this book emphasize strong moral character, but it also helped spread the Buckeye love!  ("O-H...")

this book is a representation of a system that coach tressel applies to his football program.  every buckeye on the team goes through the student-athlete's version of The Winners Manual.  of course, theirs includes team values, regulations, practice information, guidelines for handling media, etc.  it's all designed to pass on the heart of what buckeye football is all about: truly becoming winners (and not just on the football field).  so coach has boiled the team's Winners Manual down to the basics that can be applied to any walk of life.
the best part of the book was the emphasis on organizing your life by separating your purpose from your goals, which is really the crux of the system which he calls "The Block O of Life".  this is available for download so it can be personalized on thewinnersmanual.com.  you allow your purpose to define who you are, then you develop goals based on your purpose in life and the circumstances you are currently called to.  it emphasized as well that success is in the journey.  just because you may not hoist a trophy does not mean you have not been successful.  similarly, just because all of your goals have not been realized does not make you a loser.  but it seeks to provide vision, organization and accountability so that you can develop holistically into the person that God has created you to be.
then there is a section he calls the "Big 10 Fundamentals", which are character traits and disciplines that help make you into a winner.  they are easy to understand, simple to apply, and powerful when taken seriously.  the majority of our discussions over this book focused on one fundamental at a time and how it could be applied personally and to the team as a whole.  great discussion stuff!  coach is also fond of impacting quotes, so this book is a gold mine of thoughts and quotes that are designed to make each fundamental memorable and meaningful.  he does a good job of relating each fundamental to everyday life as well as the football field.  we get to see what really goes on in the locker room and on the field, but he brings his experience and wisdom to a level that is challenging to all.

my only drawback from this book is the disappointment i felt reading the epilogue.  coach sets it up nicely to really preach the gospel, but it's hard to share the gospel without mentioning Jesus.  he begins his book in the prologue with a question he faced as a kid @ FCA (fellowship of christian athletes) camp: "if the game of life ended tonight, would you be a winner?"  i was impressed with his boldness up front and impacted by his emphasis throughout the book on putting life into perspective.  however, when he returns to that question in the epilogue he utterly fails to point to our Savior, Jesus Christ, and therefore puts a disappointing finishing touch to what becomes just another self-help book.  granted, i loved this read and found much of it to be helpful, but it could only serve as a spring-board for me to then share the truth with the unsaved.

if i ever again have the opportunity to lead an athletic program through a book study, this will be at the top of my list!  and although i cannot whole-heartedly embrace coach tressel's theology (especially after hearing him speak a couple years ago), i am very thankful for an upright & bold coach with a strong moral compass leading my buckeyes!  this was a fun read for me, and got me all the more excited for another season!  GO BUCKS!!!