nostalgia

i have a shoe-box.

it's original purpose was to serve as a "music file". although, if you ask Carissa, you'll know that "file" and "pile" are interchangeable in my life. so...this shoe-box now serves as a portable pile of music, embarrassing poems written years ago and just "stuff". ya know what i'm talking about?

well, this morning i was going through it looking for a song a friend of mine wrote a few years ago. and i came across memories. all sorts of moments in life. one was this paper. just some thoughts i wrote back in march of '05 (so not too long ago). thought it was interesting...(i usually think my thoughts are interesting). anyways...

"change"

time refuses to stall for memories. it merely adds to them continuously. mercilessly stock piling an arsenal against those of us foolish enough to seek to live by, understand and express our emotion. memories cloud our feelings, and the difference of the present adds a twinge of loss to what was beautiful. it is bitter-sweet. like coffee to a child. but the cream of life is worth the pain, flavored by experience and free to be forever remembered fondly.

but what is it worth? why do we remember? what does a single memory bring to the present for the sake of practicality? a milestone! yes, life is a journey. this marker serves as a reminder of the eternal. to look back reveals the unique touch of the Father as He reminds us once again of the faithful presence of His hand. our lives are held outside the realm of our control. to remember gives peace. to remember gives hope.

still, to remember stirs the heart. intrigued by the breadth of color in the puzzle, there are those of us who cannot fight the curiosity to experience and understand this emotional mystery. no, change does not come easily. we may allow tears of confusion to stream down our face as we stare into a memory to see it as it truly is. a rainbow of the Father's faithfulness. beautifully confusing, but giving hope for our future. not the expectation of an easy road, but the promise of His presence on it. worry is washed away. trust is our response, and the Father our guide. through every storm we have hope. "this too shall pass". it dissolves into memory. forever marking the presence of God.

no, change does not come easily.

-Jeffrey Hoenshell 3/9/05.