can you hear me now?

pursuing God through spiritual disciplines. that's the series we've started at church. it's amazing if you ask me. opens up all sorts of discussions about sanctification, legalism, growth, accountability. and it's just plain hard.

in his book, The Practice of Godliness, jerry bridges reevaluates the idea of spiritual disciplines which normally conjures up thoughts of perpetual actions carried out in the pursuit of higher spirituality. His definition of godliness is "devotion to God which results in a life that is pleasing to Him." That devotion, he suggests, is "a personal attitude toward God that results in actions that are pleasing to God." a simple yet concise synthesis of the goal of each believer's life: "whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Cor. 10:31).

so this next week we will be embarking on the adventure of solitude. and i honestly get pumped just thinking about it. i guess i'm one of those personalities that enjoys the presence of people but also looks forward to the confines of quiet peace. but we're not talking a simple retreat from people. we're talking a retreat from the hum-drum of life. which, in our case is difficult to do. just listen for a minute...do you hear signs of productivity and advancement in the distance? it only takes about 20 seconds for me to recognize the sounds of automotive engineering enabling the continuance of busy schedules. and i'm sitting her looking at a computer screen tempting me to re-review those sports scores from professional games that occurred hundreds of miles from here only hours ago. and there's always the threat of a rumble and jingle from the cell phone in my pocket interrupting my already noisy hour...life is loud.

but i want to get away. i want to get away to where verizon wireless can't hear me now. alone. but not alone.

for me...the best place is outside in God's creation. just waiting, watching, listening, smelling, experiencing...creation exalting God.

so i created a movie/slideshow for youth group that kind of takes us on a tour of our planet. and i begin to realize how amazing God's creation is.

and i can't wait to explore.

and to think we've got all eternity to "be still and know that I am God."

your world, interrupted

life passes us by.

that's a well-worn thought in poetry and philosophy, and i often revert back to it in introspection. but it seems to fly by faster the older i get. i'm turning 24 in june (it feels old to me), and carissa and i are expecting our first baby girl to arrive within the same month. and sometimes i just stand back and think, wow...how did this happen? it's already been 6 years since i graduated from high school! life is fleeting.

but then something happens. and life gets interrupted.

it may be the loss of a loved one, the pain involved in the destruction of a family, a sudden life-threatening illness, or maybe even a catastrophic event that shapes the course of history. life is just flying by casually when suddenly our world is rocked and interrupted. just as it was when the news of the terrorist attacks on 9/11 registered in our minds. all the things that we were concerned with and looking forward to that day were suddenly put on hold. it was as if our whole world just stopped. and life would never be the same.

well, last week we experienced an event that was completed in less than a minute, and hardly classifies as catastrophic, but nonetheless woke me up to reality.

i was rudely awaken by my mattress shaking me and tossing me back and forth. i initially thought carissa must be having a hard time getting up to go the bathroom. apparently she was thinking the same of me. then in a daze it hit us...someone's in our room! so both of us sprang up to see who had snuck into our house to attack us in bed. but there was no one there. then we heard the rattle of dishes in the kitchen and realized that the entire house was shaking significantly.

no way...we're in indiana. we don't have earthquakes in indiana!

so when the shaking subsided, i leaped out of bed and rushed to the tv convinced that we had been bombed and i would turn on the news to see most of ohio blown off the map (hey, ohio's the "heart of it all").

well, needless to say, i survived my first earthquake. (and just so you know, i'm not crazy...the nurse at our doctor's office thought it was aliens...but yes, i've had to face a certain degree of ridicule for my initial assumptions)

but nothing was broken. and californians would laugh at the naivete and enthusiasm in which we hoosiers responded to such a minor occurrence. but it's indiana for crying out loud!! and i already admitted that the incident was hardly catastrophic, but carissa and i just laid in bed talking about it afterward.

ya know, we put so much effort into all our stuff. accumulating, enhancing, protecting. and we get so comfortable with life, but God is fully capable of rocking our world...even the very ground beneath us! God can interrupt our world whenever He wants.

and it reminded me of matt. 24:42-44, where Jesus tells us to "be ready" because we do not know when He's coming back. at any moment, God can put everything on hold and reveal the vanity in our lives by interrupting this world and changing history forever.

and i wonder, am i going to be interrupted? or am i going to be ready? will He find me diligently and passionately pursuing Him and awaiting His return, or will He find me chasing after the wind?

so be ready. because very soon our world will be interrupted.

dinner with murph

front porch living! there's nothing like it. our little house on lincoln street is incredible...categorically included in the "abundance" column of our list of blessings from the Lord. one of our favorite features is the cement slab front porch desperately in need of paint that's furnished with wicker and deck furniture. we love the freedom of eating dinner outside in the cool breeze of spring's arrival. the comfortable neighborhood is peacefully inviting, and the neighbor kids and their trampoline add just the right touch for normality. so it's impossible to ignore the opportunity to enjoy the atmosphere, and it's a perfect excuse to grill out. that is...if i could keep my charcoal grill lit. last night we had to settle for the george forman. and although i'm fond of our fat-reducing-grilling-machine, it slightly spoils the concept. but not enough to keep us from enjoying the moment.

dinner on the front porch.

so we invited a neighbor. well...i guess, technically, our fat-reduced venison burgers did the inviting. it took all of three seconds for our neighbor murphey to smell the spread and come panting over to join us. he's a wonderful neighbor with big, sad, brown eyes who calmly saunters over from two houses away to make sure our unpacking is going well and politely waits to sample any sustenance we may be enjoying.

murphey is a rather old neighbor, although you wouldn't be able to tell from his golden hair. and i don't think i've ever seen him open his mouth except in food consumption. so he remains pleasant, patient and peaceful.

and last night we couldn't resist.

i'm sure there's something in etiquette against inviting oneself over for dinner, but murphey really did mind his manners. and it was over when he looked longingly into our eyes with a whimper. so we graciously dipped into the fruit bowl to offer him a taste of cantaloupe, grapes and bananas. but he took one sniff and ignored it.

typical.

it wasn't long before carissa convinced me that she couldn't possibly finish her entire burger by herself and was much better off sharing it anyway. so our friend murphey was welcomed onto our front porch to enjoy dinner with us.

and God taught me a lesson last night during dinner.

i couldn't help but think of murphey's ungrateful dismissal of what was offered to him. and i thought about all that God's provided for me. and to be honest...all i've been thinking about lately is what i can buy that will make our house and life more comfortable and enjoyable. that stupid charcoal grill needs replacing, the flower beds need some enhancement, the front porch light isn't exactly what we would have picked out, our picnic table is missing an umbrella, our tv is missing a cable hook-up (and currently, an MIA remote), the front pathway could use some new landscaped stones, and it would be awesome to have a hammock stretch between 2 of the trees outback...and...

then God reminds me that it's all abundance. i've been blessed with so much!! and there are some things that don't come with a price tag and will always remain invaluable. but these gifts and blessings aren't given for the purpose of inflaming an insatiable hunger for more. they are given to instill in me a deep-seated trust and reliance on Jehovah Jireh.

so i've been asking Him, Lord, teach me contentment.

all from a dinner with murph.

that city.

God made the earth. and God made man. and ever since that time, since the instruction to be fruitful and multiply was heeded, man has gravitated to the city.

it's a staggering thought to try to imagine the beginning of a city. some man walking through a few rolling hills stabs a stake into the earth and claims his territory. soon others follow suite and surround this man's territory. soon more and more begin to live in the same vicinity. and they begin to rely upon one another for survival and profit from each others needs. using their skills to develop a community that can sustain even more inhabitants. until there are too many for them to be acquainted with everyone in the area. and there is a city.

it's like there's an inherent magnet within the body of man that pulls him closer to others.

no man is an island.

but there is something intriguing about a city. it can be altogether terrifying and exciting. it can coax or repulse a tourist. it can seem crazy and comfortable. you can stand lonely in a crowd, completely anonymous, or connect with an inviting community. there is something about a city...

and throughout history it can hardly be disproved that the events which mark the pages of the books and memories of our minds do not primarily occur within the cities of the world. it is the stage on which the acts of time are played and recalled.

the city.

it is inescapable. we look to the city.

and yet, we are looking for "the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God" (hebrews 11:10). "The city of the living God" (hebrews 12:22).

that's our journey's end.

"what no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him" (1 cor. 2:9).

and we look forward to that city.

a great example

a little morning reading has intrigued me. the account of abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son isaac is familiar territory, but a sudden glimpse of his perspective leaves me dumbfounded by his motive.

the account is raw. it is barbaric. and it makes absolutely no sense to me.

if i could see through the eyes of abraham and reason with his perspective. if i were steeped in the unspoken values and expectations of that culture.

i wonder if children were sacrificed in the worship of gods during abraham's life. did he witness that perversion in the temples of the cities he passed through? and what was his assessment of that practice?

i wonder what abraham knew of noah. of enoch. of adam. of God.

he did have the benefit of seeing the faithfulness of God in his past, which would inspire a better certainty of hope and trust for the future. and he was certainly blessed with a personal relationship with God, but he was not privileged as we are with the end of the story. most of the record we enjoy of God's actions and interventions has yet to occur.

and yet he obeys a simple but devastating command. sacrifice your only son. whom you love.

i find nothing in it for abraham.

all of God's promises hinge on that boy. all the blessings were to be fulfilled through abraham's son isaac. he was to be the father of a mighty nation. and yet he could only see the beginning of that nation in the face of that boy. his only son. whom he loved. to sacrifice him would be to sacrifice all the promises. to kill him would be to kill hope. to lose him would be to lose his beloved. so i ask...what's in it for abraham?!

...unless the promises do not hinge on that boy at all. unless the linchpin for hope is really found in God Himself.

and abraham's act of obedience is an expression of deep reverence for "the Lord, the Everlasting God" (Gen 21:33). his motive is exposed and stands forever as an exemplary pillar in the great hall of faith.

i stand in the shadow amazed.

for the miles ahead

we are passing a mile marker.

the time has come to leave our first apartment.

so many memories. so many emotions.

we are so excited to be moving on, and the little house just a few blocks away is a God-send. but we've loved our first apartment as a married couple. to be sure, it's come with struggles and imperfections. we'll be glad to avoid the noise and second-hand smoke from our downstairs neighbors. we're excited to actually have another bedroom for our little baby...and any guests who warm our home. it will be fun to have a yard and a porch to sit on.

but ya know...if these walls could talk...

we will forever remember and cherish these moments invested here in our first home. we will especially be inspired by the faithfulness and provisions of a good God. He is our Jehovah-Jirah. the Lord our Provider.

this mile marker will be a fond reminder of the goodness of God and His blessings. and with that reminder we turn to face the future with hope.

so for the miles ahead, i am profoundly thankful for this mile marker.