nostalgia

i have a shoe-box.

it's original purpose was to serve as a "music file". although, if you ask Carissa, you'll know that "file" and "pile" are interchangeable in my life. so...this shoe-box now serves as a portable pile of music, embarrassing poems written years ago and just "stuff". ya know what i'm talking about?

well, this morning i was going through it looking for a song a friend of mine wrote a few years ago. and i came across memories. all sorts of moments in life. one was this paper. just some thoughts i wrote back in march of '05 (so not too long ago). thought it was interesting...(i usually think my thoughts are interesting). anyways...

"change"

time refuses to stall for memories. it merely adds to them continuously. mercilessly stock piling an arsenal against those of us foolish enough to seek to live by, understand and express our emotion. memories cloud our feelings, and the difference of the present adds a twinge of loss to what was beautiful. it is bitter-sweet. like coffee to a child. but the cream of life is worth the pain, flavored by experience and free to be forever remembered fondly.

but what is it worth? why do we remember? what does a single memory bring to the present for the sake of practicality? a milestone! yes, life is a journey. this marker serves as a reminder of the eternal. to look back reveals the unique touch of the Father as He reminds us once again of the faithful presence of His hand. our lives are held outside the realm of our control. to remember gives peace. to remember gives hope.

still, to remember stirs the heart. intrigued by the breadth of color in the puzzle, there are those of us who cannot fight the curiosity to experience and understand this emotional mystery. no, change does not come easily. we may allow tears of confusion to stream down our face as we stare into a memory to see it as it truly is. a rainbow of the Father's faithfulness. beautifully confusing, but giving hope for our future. not the expectation of an easy road, but the promise of His presence on it. worry is washed away. trust is our response, and the Father our guide. through every storm we have hope. "this too shall pass". it dissolves into memory. forever marking the presence of God.

no, change does not come easily.

-Jeffrey Hoenshell 3/9/05.

aspiration

"oh! to be like Thee, oh! to be like Thee,
Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
stamp Thine own image deep on my heart."

this simple refrain drifted into my memory this morning as i read these words in 1 thessalonians 4:3, "for this is the will of God: your sanctification".

i get it. put aside the questions of "what", "when", and "where" for God's greater purpose in my life..."who" i am becoming. and as i think about it for a minute, i quietly begin singing...

"oh! to be like Thee!"

lulled to sleep with imitation peace

what would it be like to wake up in a world that persecutes followers of Christ?

it's evasive to say that we already do based on hearsay of the persecuted church around the world, but it's clearly not an immediate reality for those of us living in the united states. (and thank God for our freedom!!) i certainly don't wake up facing that world every morning.

so are we living in peace? we hear about the struggle for survival, the torture, the all-out war against Christianity around the world, but it feels so far away. it's as if we're living on a fortified island with a fire storm swirling around a seemingly impenetrable bubble. persecution for americans at best resembles a distant and muffled bark but certainly no bite. it's just not the world we wake up to.

i find it interesting as i read accounts of fellow brothers (of whom i am increasingly honored to call brothers) who earnestly long for the physical presence of Christ. there hope in Christ far outweighs even my understanding of the word hope. they experience extreme physical ramifications of the spiritual warfare of which paul warns us repeatedly in his letters to the churches. those physical pains and dangers serve as a perpetual reminder that all will be made right when the King returns. the world they wake up to every morning wakes up their minds to the spiritual reality, and they find true peace in the person of Jesus Christ as they place their hope in Him.

has our "reality" here in the united states lulled us to sleep? i call it imitation peace: finding our peace in circumstances. it reminds me of the poppies that drugged dorothy and her companions in the wizard of oz. because our physical world senses no immediate threat we lose sight of reality.

that we are at war.

and we need the Prince of Peace.

i wonder what it will take for us to really long for Christ's return. to really hope in Him. recognizing that peace is not a place, peace is a Person.