nostalgia

i have a shoe-box.

it's original purpose was to serve as a "music file". although, if you ask Carissa, you'll know that "file" and "pile" are interchangeable in my life. so...this shoe-box now serves as a portable pile of music, embarrassing poems written years ago and just "stuff". ya know what i'm talking about?

well, this morning i was going through it looking for a song a friend of mine wrote a few years ago. and i came across memories. all sorts of moments in life. one was this paper. just some thoughts i wrote back in march of '05 (so not too long ago). thought it was interesting...(i usually think my thoughts are interesting). anyways...

"change"

time refuses to stall for memories. it merely adds to them continuously. mercilessly stock piling an arsenal against those of us foolish enough to seek to live by, understand and express our emotion. memories cloud our feelings, and the difference of the present adds a twinge of loss to what was beautiful. it is bitter-sweet. like coffee to a child. but the cream of life is worth the pain, flavored by experience and free to be forever remembered fondly.

but what is it worth? why do we remember? what does a single memory bring to the present for the sake of practicality? a milestone! yes, life is a journey. this marker serves as a reminder of the eternal. to look back reveals the unique touch of the Father as He reminds us once again of the faithful presence of His hand. our lives are held outside the realm of our control. to remember gives peace. to remember gives hope.

still, to remember stirs the heart. intrigued by the breadth of color in the puzzle, there are those of us who cannot fight the curiosity to experience and understand this emotional mystery. no, change does not come easily. we may allow tears of confusion to stream down our face as we stare into a memory to see it as it truly is. a rainbow of the Father's faithfulness. beautifully confusing, but giving hope for our future. not the expectation of an easy road, but the promise of His presence on it. worry is washed away. trust is our response, and the Father our guide. through every storm we have hope. "this too shall pass". it dissolves into memory. forever marking the presence of God.

no, change does not come easily.

-Jeffrey Hoenshell 3/9/05.

aspiration

"oh! to be like Thee, oh! to be like Thee,
Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
stamp Thine own image deep on my heart."

this simple refrain drifted into my memory this morning as i read these words in 1 thessalonians 4:3, "for this is the will of God: your sanctification".

i get it. put aside the questions of "what", "when", and "where" for God's greater purpose in my life..."who" i am becoming. and as i think about it for a minute, i quietly begin singing...

"oh! to be like Thee!"

lulled to sleep with imitation peace

what would it be like to wake up in a world that persecutes followers of Christ?

it's evasive to say that we already do based on hearsay of the persecuted church around the world, but it's clearly not an immediate reality for those of us living in the united states. (and thank God for our freedom!!) i certainly don't wake up facing that world every morning.

so are we living in peace? we hear about the struggle for survival, the torture, the all-out war against Christianity around the world, but it feels so far away. it's as if we're living on a fortified island with a fire storm swirling around a seemingly impenetrable bubble. persecution for americans at best resembles a distant and muffled bark but certainly no bite. it's just not the world we wake up to.

i find it interesting as i read accounts of fellow brothers (of whom i am increasingly honored to call brothers) who earnestly long for the physical presence of Christ. there hope in Christ far outweighs even my understanding of the word hope. they experience extreme physical ramifications of the spiritual warfare of which paul warns us repeatedly in his letters to the churches. those physical pains and dangers serve as a perpetual reminder that all will be made right when the King returns. the world they wake up to every morning wakes up their minds to the spiritual reality, and they find true peace in the person of Jesus Christ as they place their hope in Him.

has our "reality" here in the united states lulled us to sleep? i call it imitation peace: finding our peace in circumstances. it reminds me of the poppies that drugged dorothy and her companions in the wizard of oz. because our physical world senses no immediate threat we lose sight of reality.

that we are at war.

and we need the Prince of Peace.

i wonder what it will take for us to really long for Christ's return. to really hope in Him. recognizing that peace is not a place, peace is a Person.

the headless bride

not a pretty picture.

perhaps it conjures up similar thoughts of ichabod crane, mystery and fear. or maybe it sounds like a headline for another twisted tim burton flick. or does it have potential for a disgusting trick-or-treat costume at big lots?

whatever thoughts are flying into your mind...i hope you're thinking, gross!

it's amazing to me how these images of freaky, bloody, vulgar death and mystery are associated with this time of year. it's not even october yet, but once walmart puts out the ghosts, pumpkins and candy bags the fall has officially started with a race to halloween. then we skip by thanksgiving on the way to christmas. i guess the idea of being thankful and spending time with family isn't quite as marketable.

but this is such a beautiful time of year! i love the change of seasons, but i have to admit, growing up in the midwest where the extremes of the surroundings are easily visible, fall is my favorite. and even though it's still september the harvest season is rapidly approaching. plummeting temperatures ignite the sudden explosion of colors on every tree, lawnmowers are exchanged for rakes, the smells of autumn inspire appetites for homemade goodies, footballs are flying through the wind, that wind rustles the leaves falling to the ground, those leaves are gathered into piles, those piles provide landing-pads for energetic children after school and headaches for dads after work, plans are made for time with family, and most importantly, starbucks delights us with their line of seasonal drinks. what's not to love about this time of year?

except maybe those gruesome vampires, skeletons and token r.i.p. stones that litter the neighbor's lawn.

so what's with the "headless bride"?

well, i've been reading in colossians and ephesians, and that's the picture i have stuck in my mind. a headless bride.

i know you're thinking, dude, that's not in the Bible. but check it out: colossians 2:16-23. especially verse 19.

paul seems to be painting a visual for us to better understand our relationship to Christ. i haven't quite gotten my mind around this whole idea...and somehow i get the feeling that it will always carry a hint of mystery while i'm still journeying here on earth...but it's a fascinating concept to wrestle with. paul keeps using the phrase, "in Him" or "in Christ". and then illustrates it with Christ being the head and we are the body. he also parallels these ideas in ephesians chapter 1 for further study.

what a colossal concept and phrase that we so easily skim over and attribute to christian terminology. we are in Christ! we are vitally connected to Him somehow. the body needs the head (which our neatly organized theology easily accepts), and yet you never see a head just bouncing around by itself either! now, i believe in a self-sufficient, holy God, but why does He give us this visual to explain our relationship with Himself? or the idea of the vine and the branches? or the bride and the bridegroom? are we supposed to ignore the further ramifications of these illustrations? is it taking it too far to examine the role the body plays in supporting the head? or the branches to the vine? and so on and so forth...

at least we hear paul warning us to watch out for those false teachers who are not connected to the head (aka Christ). the Church (catholic, universal with a capital C), Christ's bride and body, is vitally connected to Him.

so i guess it has the makings of a great horror film when we forget our connection to Him.

challenge on radio waves

driving down a back-country road the other night, i caught the tail end of an alistair begg message on the radio. you know that token announcer with the deep, pleasant voice they always have? the music fades the preacher out and the m.c./announcer/radio-dude comes on and wraps up the program? generally, i turn it off or mentally tune out when he comes on, which i started to do once pastor begg was finished...but the m.c./announcer/radio-dude/whatever-you-call-'em asked a penetrating question that made me do a double-take. i hit the power button on the radio and repeated his question out loud to myself,

do i do what i do for the sake of the gospel, or do i do what i do for my own sake?

i still can't shake that question...

walk worthy

i love the Word of God.

check this out: Colossians 1:9-12.

it's paul's prayer for the saints and faithful brethren in colosse. he continually prays for them and specifically asks that they will be filled with the knowledge of God's will. you know how many times i've prayed asking for God's will?!? but why does he ask for that?

for this purpose ("so that..."):

they will WALK WORTHY (v.10). simply that they will "please Him in all respects".

and how will they please God?

1. DO: bearing fruit in works (10)
2. KNOW: increasing in knowledge of God (10)
3. BE: strengthened for steadfastness and patience (11)
4. RESPOND: giving thanks for grace (12)

God's will is all about my character! i hope someone is praying that for me.

a midnight revelation

i'm lying on my back in the darkness ignoring the urge to shift around for a comfortable position. my neck is gonna kill me in the morning! but that seems to be the least of my worries. my body is succumbing to sleep while my mind is still burning with questions about life. not the least of which is the question i've asked so many times before, "how in the world did we end up here?" (and here being crawfordsville, IN). i know it was a God-thing. it's just sometimes it gives me the mental chuckles.

that's when my wife rolled over and said those words. they were words you would almost expect to hear in a time of questioning, but they were deeply profound. and i was instantly struck with a satisfying realization of truth. the technical term here is "eureka!"

she said, "maybe you're not supposed to know how we ended up here. maybe that's just the way God's going to work with us. and He doesn't tell you what's next because you'd probably take matters into your own hands if you knew." then she reminded me that it seems like the times we have needed to make a decision and done something to resolve it, it never turns out the way we thought it was going to. in fact, it seems like we get to the end of our rope and then God just makes it happen. and we find ourselves looking back saying, "how did that happen?"

i guess i shouldn't be surprised anymore.

i gave my life to Christ. and i've asked Him to use me and place me where He wants me. so it's probably safe to assume that He will. and has.

but seriously...wow! God just works differently than me, which i realize is a good thing, but He just continues to amaze me. and i'm glad He's given me an incredible wife to help me keep perspective! (that was divine wisdom on His part...)